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About This Quiz
Most people will experience some kind of issue with vermin in their lives. From mice infesting your crawl space to rats in the subway tunnels to termites in your wooden furniture to (God forbid) bedbugs wherever it is that you sleep, a brush with the creepiest of crawlies is all just part of the great tapestry of existence.
This post: What Vermin Does Your Ex Resemble?
We’ve all had to lay traps or spray poison or put out peppermint oil, or if we’re feeling really decent and the critter isn’t part of some enormous army here to ruin our home, we catch it in a cup and pop it in the garden. Sometimes it’s futile or seems to be, but eventually, it works.
Bad relationships are pretty much the same way. Like vermin, they insinuate themselves into your life, and they will mess it right up, and you may not realize how dire things are until it’s quite late in the game and the only way to fix it is drastic action. Bad boyfriends and girlfriends can munch through your self-esteem, infest your free time, suck your happiness dry, and generally trash your life. Of course, like vermin, sometimes they aren’t entirely bad for you, like a spider who catches flies or a ladybug that eats aphids. That doesn’t mean you want them around forever, though, and you sure as heck don’t want them in your bed.
Happily, like vermin, they can be rooted out – albeit hopefully by rather more humane methods than you used on the last critter you had to handle! Take this quiz to find out which one they are most like… and may the memories of the damage they did fade like the smell of the fumigator you used.
Image: Shutterstock
About This Quiz
Most people will experience some kind of issue with vermin in their lives. From mice infesting your crawl space to rats in the subway tunnels to termites in your wooden furniture to (God forbid) bedbugs wherever it is that you sleep, a brush with the creepiest of crawlies is all just part of the great tapestry of existence.
This post: What Vermin Does Your Ex Resemble?
We’ve all had to lay traps or spray poison or put out peppermint oil, or if we’re feeling really decent and the critter isn’t part of some enormous army here to ruin our home, we catch it in a cup and pop it in the garden. Sometimes it’s futile or seems to be, but eventually, it works.
Bad relationships are pretty much the same way. Like vermin, they insinuate themselves into your life, and they will mess it right up, and you may not realize how dire things are until it’s quite late in the game and the only way to fix it is drastic action. Bad boyfriends and girlfriends can munch through your self-esteem, infest your free time, suck your happiness dry, and generally trash your life. Of course, like vermin, sometimes they aren’t entirely bad for you, like a spider who catches flies or a ladybug that eats aphids. That doesn’t mean you want them around forever, though, and you sure as heck don’t want them in your bed.
Happily, like vermin, they can be rooted out – albeit hopefully by rather more humane methods than you used on the last critter you had to handle! Take this quiz to find out which one they are most like… and may the memories of the damage they did fade like the smell of the fumigator you used.
Did they bring a lot of good into your life, as well as bad?
Yes
No, it was all bad.
A little
Once in a while I guess.
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Do you literally feel gross when you think about them now?
Not unless they show up.
Yes
Honestly, no.
Usually yes
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Were they a dirty cheater?
No, I wish, then I would have figured them out sooner.
Probably
Definitely not
Yes
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Were they good at setting boundaries respectfully?
Setting? Sure.
Not really
Definitely not
No, they were mean about it.
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Were they mean on purpose or by omission?
By mistake
Both
They were not mean.
On purpose
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How hard was it to get rid of them?
Not that hard, I just threw their stuff out and they got the idea.
Surprisingly hard
Quite hard but not impossible
It was a literal nightmare and I had to flee my own home.
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If they tried to come back, what would you do?
Call for help.
Throw things at them if I had to.
Scream at them.
I will burn down my house with me inside it before I let that jerk back in here – and they know it.
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Did anyone in your life actually like them?
Yes, and I can see why.
Nope
Yes, and honestly I kinda like them too, I just don’t want to date them.
Yes, they fooled us all.
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What did they ruin the most?
My sense that I can look after myself.
My property
My mood
My ability to trust
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In what way did they embarrass you?
They talked over me.
They made me look stupid by doing dumb things in both of our names like not RSVPing to invitations or being drunk at parties.
They were kind of a drip.
They cheated on me with everything that moved.
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What did you learn from the experience?
To stand up for myself – and that I can when I must.
To not trust so easily.
To demand more.
To trust my instincts.
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How much blame do you take on yourself for it how it all went?
About half
None
Most of it
A little
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How much of the blame you’re taking on is actually justified, and how much is just you being too nice?
I should probably take less than half, but I take half.
I take none and I am right.
I may actually take less than I should.
It’s not my fault but I feel like it is because they got in my head and just… broke something.
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Did they respect your personal space?
Nope
Nope, and they didn’t expect others to either.
They tried but no.
Yes, too much in a way.
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Were they a fearful person?
No, they were more feared.
Yes, they feared a lot.
They feared everything.
They feared a couple things, like me reading their texts.
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Did they ever invite people over without asking?
No, quite the contrary, they never let me invite anyone.
Daily – they even had a friend move in.
Never
Sometimes
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How did they treat waitstaff and other people in the hospitality industry?
Badly
OK, I guess.
Very politely
Abusively
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Do they have anyone fooled about what they are really like?
A few people
Just me, sigh
No, they were clear.
Everyone, yes
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Are they a freeloader?
No, they pull their weight.
Oh, my goodness, yes.
A little
Only in an emotional way
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How manipulative were they?
Not very, they were more a browbeater.
Fairly
Very, they were tactically weak.
Oh, constantly
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Did they ever try to get away with being nasty to you by whining about how nobody else understood them like you did?
No, actually
Kinda
Yes, all the time
Only when I threatened to leave.
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Were they smart?
Yes, very
No, they are thick as a plank.
Yes, but they aren’t using it.
Yes, far too much for their own good.
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Did you sometimes feel more like a parent or housekeeper than a partner to them?
No, never
All the time
Sometimes
Rarely
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Were they boring?
Yes, in a meddlesome way.
No, I wish they had been more boring, it was always a crisis.
Yes, in a “oh my goodness say something” way.
No, they were very glamorous.
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Did they insist on knowing where you were at all times?
Yes, but they weren’t trying to be mean, they’re just organized.
No, they were chilled out about that.
Yes, in a clingy way.
Yes, in a controlling way.
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Did they just vanish sometimes with no explanation?
Rarely
Yep, sometimes
No, they were just always there.
Constantly
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Did you have to break up more than once?
No
Yes, multiple times, they just wouldn’t leave.
Yes, because I felt guilty and chickened out.
I threatened to a bunch of times but only did it once.
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How long were they around?
A year
A few months
Six months
Many years
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Were you ever honestly a little scared of them?
Yes, actually
I was more scared for them, that they might do something dumb.
Never
Only a couple times
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Did they ever engage in straight-up gaslighting?
Yes, but I’m not sure they knew it, they just thought their version was right.
Once in a while, on purpose
Absolutely not
Constantly and on purpose
FINISH QUIZ
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