Do You Have a Dark Side? - Chinesebooks US

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About This Quiz

Everyone loves a great villain, but mostly we prefer them confined to fiction – or if they must enter the real world, to politics. Still, some of us have a dark side, and we’re proud of it. Where are you on the scale? Take this quiz to find out!

This post: Do You Have a Dark Side?

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About This Quiz

This post: Do You Have a Dark Side?

Have you ever cheated on a test?

Often, and I always get away with it.

Just the one time.

No, but I have pretended to be sick to get out of taking one.

Absolutely not.

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Have you ever cheated on a partner?

Yeah, I don’t believe in monogamy.

Yes. I also don’t believe in monogamy, but I’m honest about it up front, so technically that’s not cheating.

No, but I’ve been tempted.

Never

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Do you love a dirty joke?

Certainly do!

Yes, but not too vicious please.

I like stuff that works on more than one level, so kids think it’s clean but the parents know better.

No, I don’t like anything that wouldn’t pass the Hayes Code.

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Do you say offensive things just to get a rise out of people?

No because I need them to like me so I can draw them into my snare.

It’s my number one pastime.

Only if they really deserve it.

No, that’s mean.

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Which of these poets is best?

Edgar Allan Poe

Christina Rossetti

John Donne

A. A. Milne

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What movie do you like?

Schindler’s List

Cabin in the Woods

Star Wars

Aladdin

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Who are you going as for Halloween?

Sexy Headless Horseman

Blackbeard

Maleficent

Alice in Wonderland

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What’s your signature drink?

A finger of whisky, neat

A cosmopolitan

A glass of red

Fruit juice

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If you saw someone slip on a banana skin, what would you do?

Laugh. Then try to distract them when they finally get back on their feet, in hopes they will turn my way and slip again.

Snigger behind my hand

Post a quick Instagram of the event but then help

Help them, and then put the banana skin in the trash

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Did you put the banana skin there in the first place?

I got someone else to do it. Deniability is key.

I did it and I’m proud of it!

No, but I knew it was there.

Litter? Me? Never!

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How do you feel about pranks?

Love them. The more horrifying the better.

I like them but only the apple pie bed / fake call kind.

Not really, but I laugh along.

No. Making someone worry for no reason is manipulative and cruel.

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Have you ever gotten expelled or suspended from school?

Once. Then I got better at covering my tracks.

A number of times

No, but I got a few detentions.

My record is spotless.

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Have you ever been arrested for something you actually did?

Yes, but I got off.

No, but only by the grace of God, considering my behavior.

No, I can talk my way out of things.

Obviously not

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You see $20 on the floor of the office. You know you’re one of the higher earners there. What do you do?

Pocket it.

Pick it up, gesture around a little as if to find the owner, ask very softly if anyone dropped it, then pocket it.

Ask the nearest person if it’s theirs. If not, split it with them.

If I can’t find whose it was, I use it to buy donuts for the office.

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Your friend asks if their outfit makes them look fat. It does. What do you say?

Yes, but not as much as your fat makes you look fat.

I say yes, but I feel bad.

I tactfully propose a change of outfit.

I lie to spare their feelings.

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Do you give to charity?

Yes, but only publicly.

No.

I give here and there.

I have multiple subscriptions.

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Has anyone ever compared you to Machiavelli?

All the time. It’s a compliment.

My history teacher did a few times.

Only one time, but I think they thought he was a footballer.

Nope

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Do you regularly attend a religious service?

I go on Christmas or other big holidays.

I go monthly.

I go weekly.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how prudish are you?

-5

11.

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Do you wish people had more decorum?

Yes, because then it would be much easier to make them uncomfortable.

No, people are already too uptight.

It’s not really my place to judge that sort of thing.

Yes, society is too shameless these days.

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Do you like horror movies?

Love them

I like them, but they’re not my favorite.

I am willing to sit through the occasional one.

Hate them

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When did you first hear about the Dark Triad?

My shrink brought it up when I was 5.

In college, while studying.

My friend mentioned it after I dated this total jerk.

Is that a heavy metal band?

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What do you think of the Stanford Prison Experiment?

Sounds like fun.

It shows you that most people are capable of being awful.

It was unethical and shouldn’t have been done.

I feel icky just thinking about it.

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Approaching your home, you see the nice old lady next door has dropped her groceries. What do you do?

If she hasn’t seen me, hide. If she has, I make out like I’ve just got a call and signal her I’ll be there in a moment.

I go over to help, but slowly, so she might have gotten them all before I get there.

I pick up a few items and walk to her door.

I rush to help, then take the groceries inside and help her put them away.

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Do you like guns and other things that go bang?

They’re the best.

Yes, but not fanatically.

Only occasionally.

No, anything resembling violence freaks me out.

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How important is your reputation?

Very important, because of the scale of the things I intend to get away with.

Not very. If people have a problem with me, that’s on them.

Quite important. I know when to behave.

Super important. I couldn’t bear to be thought of being perceived as a bad person.

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Will you consider your life a giant failure if you don’t make a huge pile of money?

Yes. Money is power.

I’m very ambitious but it’s not my top priority.

I aim to be comfortable and not stressed out.

Money is not very important to me.

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When something gets broken, which response is most useful?

So-and-so did it.

It was like that when I got here.

That’s a shame.

I’m sorry! Let me fix it for you.

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Have you ever taken credit for someone else’s idea?

Constantly

A few times

Once

Never

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Imagine a puppy, lost in the woods. It’s wandering, tired, and making those little cheeping sounds distressed puppies make.%0DOK. How do you feel right now?

Kind of annoyed. It should shut up.

I feel mildly disturbed.

I feel very anxious.

I am a blubbering mess. I want to hug all the puppies and rub their bellies!

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